


Just for now

by Trash



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:10:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash/pseuds/Trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There are some problems that you have to run away from in order to face</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just for now

Brad said “I love you.”

And Chester, unable to face his fears or the truth or...anything really, said “Ever think about running away?”

That morning Chester had woken up from a nightmare and stared out of the window, watched the Santa Anas rustle the leaves of the tree outside of the window. He looked over at Talinda asleep beside him, her chest rising and falling slowly. Deep, soft breaths as she dreamt. He wondered what she thought of when she slept. Was it what she had done that day? Or was it of their future together – kids and candy and mess and happiness.

He’s not ready for this. That’s what he thinks of. He goes to sleep worrying and, in his dreams, he’s running and running and running. Wakes up tired every single morning. Tells her he’s sick and stays in bed until evening.

But this morning, the hot winds rushing in through the window, he reaches over and grabs the phone from its cradle. Calls Brad. His own, personal Superman.

“Hello?”

“Can I see you?”

Brad sounds almost surprised. Chester can imagine him lying in bed, Elisa’s head pillowed on his chest as she slept. “Now?”

“Yeah,” he says, “I’ll come get you.”

Doesn’t wait for a reply. Hangs up and grabs his clothes.

He knew he had fallen for Brad when it was him he thought of when he curled up with Sam on the couch and played with her hair. He knew it when they split up and she yelled saying he was never there for her, he had his head in the fucking clouds all the god damn time.

He thought the obsession would fall apart when he remarried. But with Talinda came a new kind of emptiness. He hasn’t ever asked Brad about it, but he guesses he feels the same – there are some voids that only certain people fill.

He pulls up just before Brad’s house and drums his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. This is their routine now. Chester calls him, begs him, picks him up from the house before Brad’s so that, should Elisa look out of the window, she’d never see them. He hates sneaking around, but the alternative doesn’t bare thinking about.

The passenger door opens and Brad drops into the seat asking, “What’s wrong?”

Neither of them see this as just a sex thing. But it’s easier to pretend that they do.

“Let’s get a hotel room.” Chester says. “Let’s get a penthouse. Just for the day.”

He pulls away from the curb before Brad can agree to or dismiss the idea but, by now, Chester knows how he feels regardless.

They drive in silence for most of the way before Brad winds his window down and drops his hand out of it, wiggles his fingers, “Elisa. She thinks she might be pregnant.” He turns to look at Chester who spares him a glance out of the corner of his eye.

He isn’t sure what to say. So he says, “Oh.”

And that’s that.

He uses his credit card to pay for the penthouse suite at the top of one of the tallest hotels. The view is amazing and Chester thinks he’s never seen LA look so beautiful. They stay there all day. They do it (have sex, fuck, make love, never sure what they should call it so they just don’t) then bask in the afterglow. Chester lies with his head on Brad’s chest, listening to his heart beat. Steady and reassuring.

“Are you scared?”

“Not right now,” Brad laughs quietly.

“I mean about Elisa.”

There’s a moment silence and Chester is sure Brad’s heart skips a beat before he says “I don’t think I’d make a good dad.”

“You’re better with kids than I am.” Doesn’t say that it doesn’t take much, because this isn’t about him.

“It’s such a big deal over such a tiny thing.”

It’s a much bigger thing than Brad realises, but Chester doesn’t say anything. He crawls up his lover’s body and kisses him softly. Brad smiles against his lips and kisses him back, wraps his arms around him and pulls their bodies closer.

That night Brad lies in bed, sleeping soundly. Chester pads over to the window that takes up a whole wall of the room and looks down, in awe of the way LA looks at night from the top of the world.

He thinks of Talinda. She’s probably wondering where he is. Probably, she’s sitting at the kitchen table, one hand cradling a glass of wine, the other tracing the dial of the baby monitor as she listens to Tyler’s soft sighs and coos as he sleeps in the crib. And she’ll be chewing her bottom lip the way she does when she’s thinking, and she’ll be wondering why she’s spending another night waiting.

Chester wishes she’d leave the way Sam did. He wishes Elisa would call Brad and tell him she definitely was pregnant. Anything that would get him moving on.

The rustle of bed sheets and soft pad of bare feet on the carpet tells him Brad is awake. He doesn’t move, just stands and stares out to the horizon.

Brad has the sheets wrapped around himself and he stands beside Chester, their shoulders pressed together. He says “I love you.”

In his head Chester is screaming. But all that comes out of his mouth is “Ever think about running away?”

“Not really.”

“Not forever,” Chester says, “Just for a little while. Just long enough to find yourself or whatever. You know, figure your shit out. Leave all your baggage behind and escape.”

“That’s what we’re doing here, isn’t it? Escaping.”

“Yeah.” Somewhere below them a siren wails into the distance. “But it isn’t working anymore.”

Brad hesitates, his mouth opening then closing. Chester watches his reflection in the glass fondly as he struggles to find the words. “You’re leaving.”

It isn’t a question. And it doesn’t need an answer. So Chester just murmurs “I love you too.” He drops a hand to find Brad’s amidst the sheets and tangles their fingers together.

And they stand there. Watching the world below them.


End file.
